


It’s All in How You Ask

by Angylsmuse, Orithain



Series: Fourth Pass [41]
Category: Dragonriders of Pern - Anne McCaffrey
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-28
Updated: 2017-01-28
Packaged: 2018-09-20 11:52:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,950
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9489896
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Angylsmuse/pseuds/Angylsmuse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Orithain/pseuds/Orithain
Summary: Dylan wants more from Cian.





	

**Author's Note:**

> This story takes place five Turns before the ‘present’, a few months after “Improving Relations”.  
> Originally posted March 2003.

_**P07.01.15** _   
_**Solonis Hold** _

Dylan paced around his office nervously, completely unable to concentrate on the work he should be doing. He’d made up his mind to do this. Or maybe he should wait? If he tried too soon... But if not, he might lose...

Realizing he was babbling mentally, Dylan sank into his chair and buried his face in his hands. “He’s driving me crazy,” he groaned. “I can’t take this anymore!” He jumped up from his chair again and stormed out of his office, ignoring his bemused steward.

Flinging open the door to the infirmary, Dylan glared at a startled Cian and his almost cringing patient. “Well? Will you or won’t you?”

Cian calmly adjusted the cloth to protect the poor pregnant woman’s exposed areas and then turned to calmly glare at his lover. “Lord Dylan, if you would perhaps wait in my office while I finish my examination of my patient?” he requested in an icy tone reserved for those he was truly furious with.

That said, he dismissed the speechless man without a thought, turning his back on Dylan and calmly and gently began to soothe the distraught and mortified holdworker in order to get her calm enough to finish the pelvic exam he’d been about to start.

Dylan once again found himself pacing an office, Cian’s this time, barely having even registered the presence of another person in the room. He couldn’t even have told anyone who asked if his lover’s patient had been male or female.

“Shards,” he groaned, “I’ve got it bad.”

Half a candlemark later Cian walked in the door and shut it precisely, turning the lock before rounding on the older man. “If you _ever_ barge into an examination again, Lord Holder Dylan, I’ll have you by the balls, I swear it,” the younger man seethed as he stalked towards the older man. “If I’d been operating, I could have killed my patient by slipping from being startled, or you could have killed them by contaminating the operating field.

“As it is, I have a very pregnant and mortified young woman who will probably never be able to look you in the face again because you were privy to things that only her husband and her _healer_ should have seen! Now what in the flaming skies was so sharding important that you had to cause all that havoc just to see me?”

Dylan stared at him blankly. “What woman?” He shook his head sharply, dismissing the woman, whoever she was. “Never mind, that doesn’t matter.” He took a deep breath. “I...” He shut his mouth and stared at Cian helplessly. “Nothing. Sorry, my mistake,” he babbled as he tried to edge past his lover and escape.

Cian drew himself up to his full length - a head taller than Dylan - and planted himself in front of the other man. “Oh no, you’re not going to get out of it that easy, bucko! You may be lord holder, but in the infirmary _I_ am lord and master. You’re on my turf now, so you can just sit your arse down in that chair and talk, or I’m moving back into my old rooms until you do.”

Dylan slumped into the chair dispiritedly. “You probably will anyway.” He sighed and stared at his feet as if they’d suddenly become the most fascinating things on Pern. “Wlooreme?” he mumbled.

Cian, worried at the sudden shift in mood of his lover, came to sit in the chair next to Dylan. “I’m sorry, lover, I didn’t hear a word you said. Dylan, you’re beginning to worry me here... oh. You’ve found someone, haven’t you - a potential wife?”

Cian felt his world stop and then shatter but somehow managed to plaster a cheerful smile on his face. “Well then, I’d best see about getting my things out of your rooms before your bride wants to start redecorating or what have you. Don’t worry, Dylan, I won’t beg or make a scene or...” His breath hitched in his throat, and he stood and blindly fumbled for the door. “I really need to get back to work now, if you’ll excuse me...”

“I _said_ , ‘Will you marry me?’, you sharding idiot!” Dylan bellowed, surging up out of the chair and grabbing his clearly deranged lover by the shoulders to try to shake some sense into him. “Why won’t you ever believe me when I tell you that I love you?” Having spun Cian around to face him, he was now yelling in the healer’s face, completely indifferent to whether anyone elsewhere in the infirmary could hear them.

“I... you... married?” Cian managed to get out weakly, his eyes huge and dilated and his whole body snapping back and forth as Dylan shook him. “Need... to sit... down,” he gasped then lurched away from the older man only to hit the wall with his back and slide down it, staring up mutely at the man he loved more than life, his mind whirling and his legs too weak to support him while he trembled as the words sank in.

“Argh!” Dylan let out a wail of frustration, then stared at his recalcitrant lover in aggravation. “Yes, married, Cian. That’s what people who love each other usually do, you know.” He stood over the other man, arms crossed, clearly prepared to wait there till the Red Star rained flowers for the answer he wanted.

“Marry me??” Cian managed to squeak out before burying his hands in his trembling arms. “Shells, you’ve got to have the most... your timing sucks, holder,” he continued, his voice muffled by his arms. “And you clearly are insane to boot. I mean... I don’t know what I mean.”

“This is not some disease you’re trying to diagnose, Cian. Yes or no. It’s a simple question with a simple answer.” Dylan was desperately afraid the answer would be no, but if so, better to know it now than to permit himself to hope longer.

“Shards, everything is so easy for you, isn’t it?” Cian replied, getting angry again and finding the strength in anger to surge to his feet. “You wanted me, you took me; now you want to marry me, and I’m expected to fall into your lap like a swooning maiden and immediately say yes!”

Pacing back and forth, the healer wrestled with his oldest and deepest fears, trying desperately to find a middle ground, a comfort zone. “I love you; I live with you; why can’t that be enough for you?” the younger man pleaded desperately. “I want no one but you, now or ever; I’m faithful to you; I’m _yours_ for as long as you want me, Dylan.”

Dylan watched him sadly. “Because I want you to _trust_ me as much you love me, Ci. I keep hoping that you’ll believe deep down that I’m not him, but you can’t, can you?” He sank back into the chair he’d vacated earlier, again staring at his feet. “I love you, Cian, and I know you love me too, but as long as you don’t trust me, not really, how can I believe that you won’t leave me?”

“I...” Cian’s throat closed up, and he began to shake, really shake in terror at the thought of losing Dylan. “I...” Whirling away, Cian stood in front of the window and looked blindly out - in time to see his last patient and her husband talking in the garden. The man placed his hand on her stomach, and such a look of all encompassing joy passed over his face that it was beautiful to behold. Such love. Such trust.

And he was so damaged, so broken inside that he couldn’t even do that for the man he loved more than life. “Yes,” he whispered, not allowing himself to think. If it was what Dylan wanted, he could do this, couldn’t he? “The answer is yes.”

Dylan froze, almost unable to believe his ears. Had he really heard those words, the words he so desperately wanted? He reached out, turning Cian to face him. He could see the fear and love battling in his lover’s eyes, but he also saw acceptance. A smile blinding in its untarnished joy spread across his face, and he pulled Cian into his arms.

“I love you,” he murmured into his love’s throat, holding him tightly.

“I’m gonna drive you crazy, you know. This is _hard_ for me, Dylan. I... have demons to deal with, and it won’t be easy. But never doubt that I love you too, okay?” Cian begged softly, shivering a little from emotional shock.

“Ci, as long as I have you, I can put up with anything,” the lord holder promised. “Which is not to say that there won’t be fights. There will be,” he said definitely. “But then we get to make up.”

“You sound almost anxious to fight,” the healer managed to get out, leaning into the older man. “Can we go home now?” he begged quietly, exhausted and emotionally worn out.

“Sorry, Ci,” he apologized quietly as they walked. “I really did plan a romantic proposal and all, but I got kind of crazy when I started imagining you saying no. Things kind of got out of control then.” He smiled a little sheepishly.

“Kinda crazy?” the healer replied with a quirked eyebrow. “You walked in on me doing a pelvic exam for a pregnant lady - while she was less than dressed. I’d say that qualifies as a lot crazy myself.”

Dylan stopped in his tracks and turned a horrified look on his mate. “I did _what_?”

“Walked in on me giving a pregnant lady a pelvic exam,” Cian repeated, smirking at the older man. “She’s never gonna be able to look you in the eye again, you know. You saw her bits and pieces - or she thinks you did anyway.”

Dylan turned scarlet. “Oh _shards_!” he said feelingly. “And trying to apologize to her would only make it worse... if I even knew who it was. Oh jays!”

“I think I’m gonna have to get you a collar with a bell on it so I can hear you coming so it doesn’t happen again,” Cian continued nonchalantly, continuing on to their rooms. “And what was this about a romantic pro-proposal?”

Dylan followed him inside, looking around with satisfaction. Every surface in the rooms was covered with candles. Even unlit, they set a mood of romance. Maybe it wasn’t too late to salvage the evening.

“I have a hot bath full of scented oils, candles, a meal and wine waiting...”

“Jays, you pulled out all the stops, didn’t you?” Cian breathed, looking around the room with wonderment in his eyes. “Dylan... No one has ever done anything like this for me before,” Cian turned to the older man, eyes shimmering slightly in the candlelight.

“Trying to pamper me into saying yes, Lord Holder Dylan sir?”

“Whatever it took, Ci. Besides which, I happen to _like_ pampering you,” he replied, leaning in to kiss his mate. “Now let me spoil you.” He slowly undressed Cian, kissing each exposed inch of flesh as he did, incredibly happy at the knowledge that this man was his.

“Bath first,” he breathed. “I got food that wouldn’t be spoiled by standing for a while.” He urged the taller man toward the inner chamber, knowing how much Cian loved soaking in a hot bath.

“Dylan,” Cian sighed, shaking his head in bemusement. It wasn’t that he didn’t want to be pampered or didn’t appreciate all that Dylan had done. He just didn’t know how to react, as no one until Dylan seemed to want to spoil him this way. It confused him to no end.

“You have me, you know. I said yes. You don’t have to do this anymore,” he continued, lamely.

“Idiot,” Dylan replied fondly. “I’m not doing this because I _have_ to. I’m doing it because I _want_ to. So cooperate already.” He pushed his mate gently toward the tub, ignoring the trail of clothes behind them. “If you must know, this is all just an excuse for me to get my hands on you.”

Cian grinned lopsidedly. “I _knew_ there was an ulterior motive!” he teased as he slid into the heated water with a sigh, not realizing until that moment just how tense this whole thing had made him. “Damn, that feels good,” he moaned happily.

“See, you shouldn’t argue with me. I know best,” Dylan teased, smiling. Cian often seemed to be carrying the weight of the world on his shoulders, and it made the other man feel good to be able to help him relax.

Cian snorted. “Suuuure you do, Dylan, and I happen to like arguing with you,” the younger man pointed out stubbornly, a glint of amusement sparking in his changeable eyes. “Besides which, I like watching you try to convince me you’re right. It’s vaguely amusing.”

He slid in beside his mate and poured some of the sweetsoap into his hands, working up a lather before beginning to wash Cian. “Jays, you’re incredible,” he murmured, staring at the lithe, wiry body that was all his. “I love you so much, Ci.”

Letting the older man minister to him, Cian purred and sank back into Dylan’s embrace, luxuriating in the feeling of his mate’s hands running across his body. “Feels good,” he husked, turning his head to press a kiss over Dylan’s heart before letting his head fall back into the crook of the older man’s neck.

“Told ya,” Dylan replied huskily, now stroking more than cleaning. “Jays, I can’t imagine my life without you anymore. Even if you are a stubborn know-it-all at times,” he couldn’t resist adding.

“Better a stubborn know-it-all than a bossy dictator,” Cian retorted, melting under the caress although certain parts of him began to swell in response to the petting.

“Right now this dictator says that you are going to relax and let me take care of you, then we’re going to enjoy our meal and have an early night. I prefer you without the huge circles under your eyes, Ci.” Dylan was now just holding him and lazily stroking him, enjoying the hot water around them.

Cian ducked his head, not wanting to admit that he’d had problems sleeping of late. “You can’t burn the candle at both ends and not expect to get burned,” he sighed, leaning back against the older man. “I’ve been swamped with work and teaching the apprentices and other things.

“I hate to say this, but I think we need to get a journeyman in to help, Dylan. I just can’t do it anymore and expect to have time to have a life with you. It was fine when I wasn’t involved with anyone or just had casual encounters. But I don’t want to be pouring over books until the early candlemarks of the morning when I would rather be curled up in bed with you,” the healer admitted at last.

The lord holder breathed a sigh of relief. “I can’t tell you how glad I am to hear that, love. I’d never interfere with your craft, but I’d certainly like the opportunity to spend more time with you. Do you want me to send a message to the healerhall, or would you rather do it?”

“I’m the holdhealer, love. It’s my craft and my responsibility. I’ll take care of it in the morning. After you’ve taken care of me,” Cian replied with a sigh. “I just hate... well, admitting I need help, you know?”

Dylan snorted; he couldn’t help it. “You’re only human, you nut. We all need help. Jays, if I didn’t have the steward and his assistants to help me, I’d never make it through the day!” That made him think of something, and he frowned. “Cian,” he started tentatively, “when we get married... I’d like to name you as co-lord holder. I don’t want a rank difference between us, love. But are you willing for me to do that?”

Cian drew a sharp breath. Be named co-lord? “I... I don’t know, Dylan,” he replied quietly. “I can’t be hold healer and be lord holder too - it would be too much. All my life I’ve wanted to heal but now... all I want to do is love you. Let me think on it, please?”

“Of course, love. And let’s be clear on this: I would like to name you as co-lord, but either way, I intend to marry you, Healer Cian. Now that I have you, I’m not letting you get away!” He hugged Cian close, stroking him.

“But right now what we really need is food, so we can celebrate our betrothal,” he teased, blue-grey eyes dancing as he grinned at his mate.

Cian groaned. “Well, at least he didn’t wanna throw a Gather. I don’t have to be the center of attention just yet!” The healer suddenly turned and eyed his lover suspiciously. “Shells, don’t tell me, a huge wedding right?”

Dylan nodded, smiling broadly. “Absolutely. I want lots of witnesses so there’s no doubt in anyone’s mind that you’re mine,” he said with satisfaction dripping from his voice. “We’ll make it a holiday for the hold, invite the other lords and ladies and the weyrfolk, any excuse for a Gather,” he laughed. “And then we’ll let them drink themselves into a stupor on our wine while we escape for a nice long honeymoon, just the two of us. Clothing will be optional.” He laughed again from sheer happiness.

“I’m doomed,” Cian whimpered faintly, but there was a huge smile plastered on his face nonetheless.

“No, we’re both saved,” Dylan corrected, still smiling. “Love you, healer mine.”


End file.
